I've been in career coaching for over 10 years now. That means that I can come across as an absolute expert in everything from Executive Presence to how to get your first internship.
However, I too was once new at this little game I like to call ‘figuring out what the hell I want to do with my life.’
I’ve made plenty of mistakes along the way, but I'm proud to say I've learned from my mistakes and it’s made me the coach I am today.
Let me bare my soul to help you learn from my mistakes (because I’m all about saving you that trail & error time!) So, pull up a chair, and let's get into the first time I failed at changing careers.
It’s the 1st: Rent’s Due!
Let me set the scene for you, the year is 2011, and I have just finished getting divorced and was paying rent in San Francisco all by myself. Rent was due, the utilities were due, my credit cards were due and my paycheck as a professor was not going to cover it. Not by far.
This rent day was significant because it was just one in a few where I had to choose which bills to pay and which to delay. I wasn't ready for the conclusion I came to - that I needed a new career - because being a professor had been my dream job. I loved it. Everything about it. Except being a grown woman choosing between eating or paying the phone bill.
Little did I know that me figuring this out would be a years long journey.
Because this was a change I didn’t actually want to make, there was a lot of pressure on my next role.
Spoiler alert: not being all-in mindset-wise meant trouble.
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3 Things that Led to My Failure at Changing Careers
When you look at how I “failed” at changing careers successfully, you could easily think the reason I failed was due to a tight labor market or other forces beyond my control.
In reality, there were 3 things I was doing that led to me ending up in a trial and error hamster wheel.
#1. I was insistent on doing everything by myself
Growing up at my house, there wasn’t a lot of career talk. Don’t get me wrong, we were told we could do/be anything we wanted, but that was sort of it. The idea was you found a “good,” “safe” job and just did that. For years. I mean, it’s what my parents were taught so it makes sense right?
This led to figuring out a lot of future life planning on my own. A way of thinking I carried straight on through my fist career and when that was coming to a close, it was the only way I knew how to continue. Just figure it out on your own kid!
The Solution:
Instead of only relying on myself for success, I now rely on a small village of strong people who are there to support me.
This has led to other successes in my life such as giving me the opportunity and confidence to start my own business.
Remember, if you have been frantically trying to do it all on your own, you may be missing out on insights and support from some amazing people who want to help you.
#2. A positive mindset
Remember, I was changing careers but didn’t actually want to, which meant my mindset was very much in the negative space.
Now we all know about the concept of self-fulfilling prophecy. And that’s absolutely what was going on with me. I was 100% convinced that nothing would ever fulfill me like teaching did. Nothing. Nope. Never. Ever. Anything. So I sort of decided I was going to be miserable, working a job I hated. And guess what?! I made it happen. Because of course I did.
The Solution:
When I had to do it all again (because I refused to live miserable), I spent the time to develop a positive attitude and mindset that made space for me truly find work that worked for me.
A little introduction to this method can be found here in my blog post CAREER EXPLORATION AND YOUR MINDSET.
#3. Forgetting how strong and capable I am
It's easy to look back at this and think “Why didn’t you go after something actually fulfilling?!”, but we're saying that with all the hindsight in the world.
At the time I was freaking out about paying the bills remember? I was in pure panic mode. I was also convinced that not only would I be good at anything but teaching but that I’d have no way to figure out what that thing was to begin with!
The Solution:
Changing my mindset was step one, finding ways to remind myself that I was utterly capable was the big thing that led to me finally finding my path in a way that made me feel fulfilled.
It didn’t come easy. I was also going through a divorce which is a major self-esteem buster in and of itself. I finally turned the corner when a coach I was working with asked me to write it out. I’d never been a journaler or diary keeper before, so even this was new to me.
But seeing what I felt I was good at (and not good at) and what I wanted for myself all in black and white was the beginning of believing I could. Some of the things I wrote down that I just couldn't be good at are so laughable to me today!
Perseverance Pays Off
I wish I could say that I never failed in my time as a career changer. That would be impossible, though, because failure is part of life and work, failure is how we get future successes and fulfillment.
However, once I stopped trying to do it all on my own and just force myself into a new role. I have now made it my mission to take other people who are struggling with this by the hand and teach them everything I know so they absolutely do not have to waste the kind of time I did.
In my coaching business folx wanting to change careers is my wheelhouse because it’s really fun! I work with clients who start out totally overwhelmed and a bit scared and then we explore, dig deep and play in the future thinking sandbox.
Clients have said:
“You pushed back on my hang-ups and insecurities, but didn’t make me feel stupid for having them, and helped me to realize that I’ve been undervaluing myself for years.”
and
“With EB, I knew I had someone who was not only invested in my development but ‘heard’ me and was non-judgemental. She supported me and held me accountable for actionable steps that continue to lead me to success. ”
Over on Instagram, our career community has been sharing their biggest career change snafus! And you know what the number one answer was? Staying at a job wayyyy past it’s expiration date.
Got a question about changing careers? Get in touch over here today for a free consultation.
Yours in career change goodness,
EBS
EB Sanders | Career Coach for Creative Types
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