Stop Following Your Passion: Why Finding Your Thing Is Better (And How I Learned This the Hard Way)

No, you shouldn't "follow your passion." I'm serious. This idea that you should find, then blindly follow, your "passion" is overwhelming and ultimately unhelpful.

Finding Your Passion looms large. Finding Your Thing is the way to go.

You know that feeling you've got right now? That "totally lost, I'm stuck, what am I even supposed to do with my career, can't someone just tell me what I'm supposed to be doing" feeling? Man, it sucks, doesn't it?

I know that feeling intimately. But what you've been told, this idea that you "just" need to find your passion, it's not a reasonable goal. And I learned this through two brutal career changes that nearly broke me before they remade me.

Why "Follow Your Passion" Sets You Up to Fail

I've been through two major career changes of my own and I've spent years helping clients figure out what their thing is. The reason I don't say "follow your passion" is because there's too much pressure behind Passion, the idea that it has to be the end all, be all.

But finding your thing? There's way less baggage attached to it. Fewer external and internal expectations weighing you down.

You're going to Find Your Thing, the thing that fulfills you and gives meaning to your life not because it's your one all-consuming passion, but because it supports your interests, talents, and values. It allows you to be the most you.

Just think about these two simple statements:

"Carol left her corporate job to follow her passion of Pet Care Marketing."

"Carol's thing is Pet Care Marketing."

It's all psychological, but it's an important distinction.

The expectation with "passion" is that it's so burning and all-consuming that there's nothing else of meaning for Carol, and it may not even be something she's good at. She's just obsessed with it.

However, it being her Thing? That indicates that she's good at it, she enjoys it, and she knows what she's doing. It's clearer, more concise, more concrete. It's actually MORE Carol.

And you can be more you too.

My Story: From Dream Job to Devastation to Discovery

Let me tell you how I learned this lesson. Name a job and I've probably done it: housekeeper, bartender, executive assistant, retail, marketing assistant, private caterer, lifeguard, swim instructor, vintage reseller, construction coordinator with a hot pink hard hat, and many, many others.

Many of these I held simultaneously while working my way through college, then grad school, and then in pursuit of my dream career: College Professor.

Making it through school, working any combination of jobs, and getting into a teaching position wasn't easy. But it was my dream job. And I worked incredibly hard to get it.

I spent the next 12 years as a Humanities Professor at several fantastic colleges in the Bay Area, teaching courses like "The History of Creativity" and "Values and Culture." I loved my job. Capital L Love.

As I'm sure you know, education and academia isn't exactly a cash cow, but I really did love my job, like REALLY loved it, so I scrimped, saved, and worked those weird little jobs in the cracks between classes to make ends meet.

Then I got divorced. In San Francisco. One of the most notoriously expensive cities on the planet. And things changed.

Let me say it again: I LOVED teaching. But I also now had to pay the rent all on my own. Due to the recession and with education budgets being what they are, I found my course load shrinking year after year.

I finally hit a breaking point financially and was forced to reconsider and reevaluate. It all came to a head when my options were: move across the country for a tenure track position and still struggle financially, only now far from home and family, OR find a new career.

How did I feel about my options? I was devastated. It was like a long-term, "this is it forever" romantic relationship ending. It took me months of soul searching and not a few tears to get to a place where I could even acknowledge that there really were other doors. Wide open doors.

The Breakup I Couldn't Accept

While intellectually I knew I had to make a career change, I just couldn't give up a job that I loved so much it had been the basis of much of my identity. I was a teacher.

I made my way back to advertising and marketing, where I had worked before grad school, as I struggled to keep teaching by holding on to one or two night classes. I dabbled in several roles and took a series of jobs that I knew I would hate, which I looked at as a good thing because I thought I could somehow still make teaching viable. Any other job would "just" be a day job that I could leave when I finally found a way to make teaching work.

It was like booty calling my ex-career.

After two, yes TWO, years of drunkenly texting my ex-career, I finally had "the talk" with myself that someone always has to have with you after a breakup. The "IT'S OVER, MOVE ON" talk. The hard truth that your bestie gives you. But unlike a true breakup, nobody was telling me they "never really liked my career anyway." Nobody understood that I was grieving. Forget bringing over ice cream to help me get through it.

After the talk with myself, I knew the era of the "day job" was over. I needed a new career, for real. I decided to do what I needed to do to figure out what it was, while keeping one class a semester to get my teaching fix in.

In the search for "The One," I took ALL the quizzes, filled out all the workbooks, took all the workshops. In essence, I online dated the crap out of my career.

After a while, I became convinced I'd be a sad, lonely, old career cat lady.

The Magic Isn't in Finding Your Passion

I tried working with a few career coaches in the hopes that they would magically tell me what I should do with my life. Spoiler alert: it totally doesn't work that way.

It took working with a coach who specialized in career changes to come to the certainty that I wanted to continue educating and helping people find their thing.

I knew I liked helping students figure their own stuff out, but I had NO IDEA what form that would or should take in a career. All signs were pointing toward "Coach," but I absolutely did not want to be a coach. That I knew. At the time, there was still generally a stigma around coaching. The common perception was that there were only two versions: executive coaching for the uber high-level or woo-woo life coaching for the L.A. based.

I wasn't up for either. But educating people on how to navigate their careers? I knew I wanted to do that. Cool, but knowing what I wanted to be was only part of it. I had to figure out how to make my teacher skills make sense in corporate-land.

I searched and searched for a job opening that fit the bill, but NOTHING seemed right, and man, did I do some epic wallowing. Then a former coworker who had moved on to another company reached out. She knew I was miserable in my current relationship, uh, day job. She wanted to introduce me to a new job. A new job that she knew I would rock. A job that played on all my strengths. A job where I got to teach people how to work together and help them develop their careers.

Isn't that always the way? A friend of a friend introduces you to the right thing.

That role where I found my footing was creative management and staffing. It's truly a mix of recruiting, management, learning and development, and a healthy dose of career coaching.

I racked up almost 10 years of experience in creative recruiting and staffing. Was it "love" the way I loved teaching? Not quite. You only get one first love. But I really dug my gig and it made sense. Teaching college is helping students figure out what careers and futures they're interested in. Career development was the next logical step.

I enjoyed the recruiting aspect of the job because I loved helping people get the jobs they were lusting after. The one that made them SO. FREAKING. STOKED. But through this career, it became clear to me that I loved, and always had, helping people find their thing.

The part of my job I especially loved was directly helping women with their career development. However, it was only a small part of my day-to-day work.

Career coaching suddenly just made all sorts of sense.

Finding My Thing (Finally)

I knew it was time for career change number two. It took another two-plus years for it to all come to fruition, and it wasn't an easy or even a direct path. But now I'm currently teaching others how to find fulfillment in their own careers, and there's no way I could be where I am without the heartbreak of having to give up being a professor.

I am in love with my job in a whole new way, and I can't imagine not being a coach. Life's funny that way, huh?

Now I can proudly say: my name's EB. I'm a certified career coach who spends her time showing creative types how to leave the fear behind and find their thing so they can achieve the fulfillment they really want.

What I Learned: The Truth About Finding Your Thing

Here's what two devastating career changes taught me: the answer is most likely right in front of you. But you can't see it when you're desperately trying to follow some mythical "passion."

It doesn't take months of going back to school, years of trial and error, or even days of pulling your hair out to Find Your Thing. You just need to be prepared to dig really deep.

It all starts with looking inside, taking stock, and being honest with yourself.

This process can be overwhelming in the best way because you will go from "I have no options, I have no idea where to start" to an overabundance of options and opportunities.

It doesn't take years of effort, but there's also no magic wand. You have to do the work, the introspection, the deciding of just what it is that lights your fire.

Yes, you could pick something out of thin air or have someone tell you what you should do, and you could absolutely do one of those. But it will never be as fulfilling as coming to the decisions on your own and working through why you want to do that particular thing.

What "Your Thing" Actually Means

Finding your thing is what creates a meaningful, fulfilling career. If "meaningful" to you is helping a nonprofit that cares for orphans, awesome. If fulfillment means traveling 70 percent of the time and letting your partner handle the homestead, fantastic. But it needs to be meaningful to you.

Only you can know what's right for you, and I promise the process becomes easier and way more fun when you ditch the concept of "passion" and focus on finding your Thing.

Maybe you have a job but you're unfulfilled. Or you're climbing the monetary ladder, but your gig isn't in line with what you see yourself being happy doing long term. Did you get laid off recently and decide this is the perfect opportunity to do something you actually want to do? Maybe you're looking to switch careers but have no idea which direction to turn, and everyone is telling you to "follow your passion," but you have no freaking idea what that might be.

No matter what your situation, let me guess: you feel stuck, frustrated, lost, and you're freaking out to varying degrees.

Don't fret. I'm here with good news.

The Work Is Worth It

When you show up in the world as your most you, you are a better person, partner, employee, business owner, parent, and community member.

Look, I understand the feeling. You just want someone to hand you a piece of paper that says you're amazing at these five things, you should go be a fill-in-the-blank with a random career, and have a huge lightning bolt moment of "YES, THAT'S IT! I JUST NEVER REALIZED IT BEFORE!"

I hate to tell you, but that's not how it works.

Often what we are told we are supposed to want, or feel that logically we "need" to do in our careers veers far from what actually makes us happy, whole individuals.

Only when you take the time to be honest, dig deep, and come to a genuine understanding of what makes you truly happy will you come to an understanding of what kind of career will be meaningful to you.

Again, the idea of what is "meaningful" work is different for literally every person on the planet. If "meaningful" to you is simply making enough money to never have to worry about ordering extra avocado, that's great. But you have to come to that conclusion on your own.

And it's worth it. It's worth the work to wake up excited about what you do. To feel genuinely fulfilled by engaging in meaningful actions. To create a career for yourself that makes you and those around you happier people. I promise.

Because here's what I know after teaching for 12 years, recruiting for nearly 10, and coaching for years: your thing is out there. Not your passion. Your thing. The work that makes sense for who you are, what you're good at, and what you value.

And when you find it? You won't need to "follow" it with blind devotion. You'll just show up as yourself and do the work. That's the difference. That's what makes it sustainable. That's what makes it yours.

So stop looking for your passion. Start finding your thing.

Yours in ‘you bet I’ve got bartending stories’ goodness,

EBS

—-

EB Sanders 

Career Coach for Creative Types

My Website | Free Stuff | Pinterest

Helping you figure out what you want to do and how to do it your way!

Finding Your Change: How to Get Inspired and Know What to Do Next

You're already feeling overwhelmed by all the inspiration quotes flooding your feed. And yet, somewhere deep down, you do feel like maybe, yeah, it is time for a change. You just have no idea what that change actually looks like.

Amen, friend. But how? And what?

Here's the thing: clarity about what needs to change doesn't usually come from external motivation or pressure. It comes from getting curious about yourself, paying attention to what actually excites you, and giving your brain permission to explore new patterns and possibilities. If you want to change something up but have no clue exactly what, here are four tried and true ways to get your creative thinking juices flowing and unlock the insights hiding beneath the surface.

Method #1: Get Out of Your Rut with Constraints and Scenery Changes

Everything from journaling five minutes in the morning to deciding to ditch the car and ride your bike to work for a month counts. Sometimes making any change in your daily routine opens you up to new thoughts and insights.

But here's the paradox: putting constraints on yourself actually makes you more creative, not less. It sounds strange, but limitations and boundaries force you to think about old things in completely new ways. Constraints create a problem-solving scenario and produce novelty by making you think differently.

Try limiting resources, time, or even your usual tools. If you always type your ideas, bust out a number-two pencil instead. The point isn't deprivation; it's inspiration. Think about Shakespeare's sonnets. They’re all about strict rules, strict structure, yet some of his most creative works emerged from those very constraints. What he did with those limitations? Wowza.

You can also create a literal change of scenery. Move your chair, go outside for a coffee, find a new meeting room, or take a walk. Take a new route to your coffee joint and check out storefronts or people's shoes. Observe your world in a way you haven't before. Even if actual movement isn't possible, change your screensaver, update your desktop, or put up a postcard of somewhere you dream about visiting. The visual inspirations you find can be genuinely game-changing.

Or try a change of scenery for your mind. Download a meditation app or grab a free guided one off of YouTube, find a quiet space, and meditate for just ten minutes. A shift in your mental landscape can have real, tangible impact on how you approach problems and see possibilities.

Method #2: Start an Inspiration Book and Look for Patterns

In my work with clients, there's one consistent exercise I have everyone do, no matter what outcome we're working toward. I ask them to keep an "Inspiration Book."

This can be an actual journal, a file on your phone, a Pinterest board, or even notes in your iPhone, the format doesn't matter. What matters is that you pay attention to what you're paying attention to.

Here's what you do: when you're out in the world and you see a piece of art, hear a song, come across interesting architecture, find a fascinating news article, or discover an amazing pair of shoes, write it down. Even if it seems tangential to "career development", clipping a recipe, learning about a new ingredient, taking a deep dive into your family history, these seemingly random clues offer insights in ways nothing else can.

Many clients are initially unsure how this helps. I give them no parameters. I simply ask them to pay attention and collect what catches their attention. The magic happens when you step back and look for patterns.

Here's what I've discovered working with hundreds of clients: patterns emerge that they had absolutely no awareness of.

One client worked in theoreticals all day long, but their inspiration book was filled to the brim with items that could only be created by human hands: mastercraft, handmade objects, skilled work. This client had a long, mostly suppressed desire to work with their hands. It came as a complete surprise-slash-complete no-brainer that they needed a career change to something where they could create physical objects.

Another client spent all day creating art, but what kept drawing their attention were things that were systematized, organized, and operational. She realized she no longer wanted to create art as a means to money. She wanted to do something lateral around art that included managing operations at a higher level. She evolved from "Creator" to "Operator" and discovered she enjoyed the business of art more than the creating of it.

Do this for one week to three months. Don't let it drag on forever. The key isn't just collecting; it's pulling out the patterns and allowing your brain to see what your subconscious already knows.

Method #3: Activate Your Creativity Through Constraints and Challenges

Even in the best of times, most jobs can feel automatic. If you're finding yourself feeling unengaged, on autopilot, and uninspired, there are creative ways to add energy back into your work.

One powerful method: brainstorm alternatives. You know those reports you run daily with one hand tied behind your back? Is there another way to do them? To make them more interesting to you at least? Brainstorm five different ways to complete your regular tasks. Even if you never implement them, the act of brainstorming alone kicks your brain into creative mode.

Set a daily creative challenge unrelated to your current work but possible during your workday. A seemingly small creative task can get your brain into a thoughtful, creative space (especially if it's miles away from your daily grind). Treat it as meditation, not goofing off.

Try 365 Post-it doodles. Write a haiku a day for a month. Create a new creative Pinterest board each day. Take a micro-class on daily creative project ideas. The goal is simply to get creative with your job, not just on your job.

You can also invoke the principle of asking "What would they do?" Choose someone who inspires you: Frida Kahlo, Jane Maise, Queen Bey, Ava DuVernay, or in my case, Dolly Parton (I just assume she has a way of getting things done with a rhinestone glue gun!). 

Display a postcard of your idol on your desk, keep a copy of that groundbreaking book by your favorite artist nearby, or post a print of your favorite photograph. Make a little shrine to the creativity deity of your choice. When you're feeling uninspired, ask yourself: "What would [your inspiration] do?" It's a surprisingly effective reframe.

You can also investigate the creativity of others. Follow podcasts, daily stories, cultural features, or images. Let the creativity of others help you look at yours in a new way. Or take a deep dive into someone completely outside your field. Are you a copywriter? Research a scientist whose work you've never explored. Get out of your creativity comfort zone.

Method #4: Reflect and Do Your Own Thing

It's time to look back at decisions you've made and actions you've put into play. Poke around at dreams you left by the wayside and goals you never made happen because life got in the way. Get really creative with both the data and your analysis of it. Focus not just on facts, but on your feelings about how things went down.

But here's the crucial part: do your own thing.

As long as you don't hurt anyone, go ahead and break some rules and expectations. Does your work crew always eat sad salads on Zoom together? Go for a walk and grab those amazing tacos from that tiny joint on Third Street. Eat them without judgment and enjoy that walk back.

Do you and your partner have a typical weeknight routine? Break out of your norm for one night and do something you'd normally only do on a weekend. Have you always wanted to try cosplay but never have because someone told you it was nerdy? Slap on that wig, grab your superhero outfit, and get that ticket to Comic-Con.

Do something that truly makes you happy, no matter what other people might think. Disregard judging eyes and you may just find the thing in your life that needs changing.

The Real Power of Exploration

After you've done the post-mortem of the past, move forward with some innovative ideas on what changes you can make to create a new future.

Maybe after all this creative exploration, just the act of letting your brain run wild is all you need. Maybe not. Maybe you found something you're genuinely excited to jump into and start changing. There is no "right" outcome. You do you.

But here's what often happens: as you start paying attention to your patterns, breaking your routine, getting creative, and doing what actually makes you happy, something becomes crystal clear. You start to see that what really needs to change isn't just a habit or a daily routine.

It's your work itself.

If Your Clarity Points to Career Change

If after doing a few of these exercises you realize what needs to change is what you do each and every day, then you're ready for the deeper work. You're ready to align your work with your actual values, clear your limiting beliefs about what's possible, and chart a new path forward.

When you create space for inspiration and start paying attention to what genuinely excites you, career insights often follow. You begin to see the patterns in what you're drawn to. You start recognizing what your subconscious has been trying to tell you all along.

That moment of clarity (when you realize something fundamental needs to shift) is powerful. And it usually doesn't come from external motivation or New Year's resolutions. It comes from getting curious, giving yourself permission to explore, and honestly looking at what makes you come alive.

So start with these four methods. Get out of your rut. Keep an inspiration book. Activate your creativity. Reflect and do your own thing.

See where it leads you. Your next change might be closer than you think.

Yours in ‘you got this’ goodness,

EBS

P.S. Yes, napping counts as doing a "new thing." Sometimes rest and permission to do nothing are exactly what your brain needs to process and create clarity.

—-

EB Sanders 

Career Coach for Creative Types

My Website | Free Stuff | Pinterest

Helping you figure out what you want to do and how to do it your way!

Embracing the Fire: Why Career Transformation Requires Courage to Burn Down What No Longer Serves You

You've been wanting your life & career to get better, right?

If you're reading this, chances are you've been sitting in your current career situation… maybe for months, maybe for years… knowing deep down that something needs to change.

You wake up each morning with that familiar weight in your chest, that quiet voice whispering that there has to be something more fulfilling, more aligned, more you out there waiting.

But here's what most people don't tell you about career transformation: it's not a gentle evolution. It's not a smooth transition from point A to point B with a neat little roadmap and predictable milestones.

We often forget that in order for things to change, the status quo needs to get shaken up, and the stuff that no longer serves us needs to leave to make room for the good stuff.

The Phoenix Myth We Tell Ourselves

We all love the Phoenix rising from the ashes. The idea of that powerful, majestic bird soaring triumphantly into a new dawn, reborn and renewed. It's the perfect metaphor for transformation, isn't it? Clean, inspiring, Instagram-worthy.

But we forget the part where her nest is a bonfire and she's on fire and everything is seriously scary.

We've romanticized the outcome while completely glossing over the process. We want the rebirth without the burning. We want the transformation without the terror. We want the new career, the fulfilling work, the aligned life, but we want it delivered with minimal discomfort, preferably with a bow on top.

Here's the truth that no one wants to hear: You have to face facts. If you want to be a phoenix, you have to learn to be okay with the fire.

What the Fire Actually Looks Like in Your Career

The fire isn't just a metaphor. It can show up in very real, very uncomfortable ways when you're ready to transform your professional life.

The fire is admitting that the job you spent years building toward isn't fulfilling you. It's acknowledging that the degree you earned, the ladder you've been climbing, the identity you've built around your current role might not be serving your highest good anymore.

The fire is facing the financial uncertainty that comes with making a change. It's looking at your mortgage, your family responsibilities, your lifestyle, and admitting that staying comfortable might be keeping you trapped.

The fire is disappointing people who have expectations of who you should be and what you should do. It's watching family members worry, friends question your judgment, colleagues wonder if you've lost your mind.

The fire is sitting with the discomfort of not knowing exactly what comes next. It's being in the messy middle where you know what you're leaving behind but haven't yet arrived at your destination.

The fire is confronting your own limiting beliefs. Those voices that tell you you're not qualified enough, experienced enough, young enough, old enough, connected enough to pursue what you really want.

Why We Resist the Fire (And Why That Keeps Us Stuck)

Most of us have been conditioned to avoid discomfort at all costs. We've been taught that career success should follow a linear path: get educated, find a job, work hard, get promoted, repeat. Any deviation from this script feels dangerous, irresponsible, selfish.

So we stay. We tolerate jobs that drain our energy. We remain in industries that feel misaligned with our values. We convince ourselves that "everyone struggles with work" and that wanting more is unrealistic or ungrateful.

But here's what happens when we resist the fire:

• We become increasingly resentful. That quiet dissatisfaction grows louder, affecting not just our work but our relationships, our health, our overall life satisfaction.

• We lose touch with our authentic selves. We become so focused on maintaining the status quo that we forget what we actually want, what energizes us, what we're uniquely suited to contribute.

• We model limitation for others. Our children, our friends, our communities watch us accept less than we deserve, and they internalize the message that dreams are impractical and safety is more important than fulfillment.

• We waste our potential. Every day you spend in the wrong career is a day the world doesn't get to benefit from your unique gifts, your perspective, your contribution.

The Hidden Gift in Career Chaos

What if I told you that the fire: all that discomfort, uncertainty, and fear, is actually a gift?

When everything feels unstable, when the old ways of operating no longer work, when you're forced to sit with discomfort, something magical happens: you discover what you're really made of.

In my years of coaching professionals through career transitions, I've witnessed this transformation countless times. The executives who felt trapped in corporate golden handcuffs who discovered their passion for nonprofit work. The teachers who were burned out on the education system who launched successful consulting businesses. The healthcare workers who pivoted to wellness coaching and found their true calling.

Every single one of them had to walk through the fire first.

They had to get comfortable with not having all the answers. They had to learn to trust themselves in the face of external doubt. They had to develop the courage to prioritize their own fulfillment over other people's expectations.

And on the other side of that fire? They found careers that didn't just pay the bills… they found work that energized them, aligned with their values, and allowed them to make the impact they were meant to make in the world.

What It Takes to Rise from Your Own Ashes

Becoming your own phoenix isn't about being fearless. It's about being afraid and moving forward through it. It's about developing a different relationship with uncertainty and discomfort.

Here's what the most successful career transformations have in common:

They start with radical honesty. You have to be willing to look at your current situation without sugar-coating it. What's working? What isn't? What would you regret not trying? What legacy do you want to leave through your work?

They require strategic planning within uncertainty. You can't wait until you have the perfect plan to take action. You have to be willing to take the next right step even when you can't see the whole staircase.

They demand community and support. Transformation is not a solo journey. You need people who believe in your vision even when you're struggling to believe in it yourself. You need guides who've walked this path before and can help you navigate the inevitable obstacles.

They involve skill development and positioning. Wanting change isn't enough (it never is). You have to be willing to do the work to position yourself for the opportunities you're seeking. This might mean developing new competencies, building your network, or reframing your experience in a way that serves your new direction.

They require faith in the process. There will be moments when you question everything, when the fire feels too hot, when going back to your old life seems like the rational choice. Your ability to trust the process (and yourself) will determine whether you rise or retreat.

The Moment of Choice

Right now, you're at that moment of choice. You can continue to tolerate the slow burn of unfulfillment, the gradual erosion of your dreams, the quiet resignation that "this is just how work is."

Or you can choose the intentional fire of transformation.

You can decide that your career should be more than just a paycheck. It can actually be an expression of who you are and what you care about. You can choose to believe that you deserve work that energizes rather than drains you, that aligns with your values rather than compromising them, that allows you to contribute your unique gifts to the world.

The phoenix doesn't rise in spite of the fire. She rises because of it. The destruction is not separate from the creation; it's an essential part of it.

Your Next Step Forward

If you're ready to stop waiting for your career to magically improve and start actively creating the professional life you actually want, you don't have to figure it out alone.

The journey from where you are to where you want to be is rarely straightforward, but it doesn't have to be overwhelming. With the right support, strategic planning, and commitment to the process, you can navigate this transformation with confidence and clarity.

Career change isn't just about finding a new job, it's about designing a professional life that reflects your authentic self, utilizes your strengths, and creates the impact you want to make in the world.

The fire is already burning. The only question is: will you let it consume you, or will you use it to forge yourself into who you're meant to become?

Your phoenix moment is waiting. The only thing standing between you and the career you truly want is your willingness to embrace the transformation process, fire and all.

Are you ready to rise?

Ready to begin your career transformation journey? Let's talk about how we can work together to turn your professional vision into reality. Book a complimentary consult call to explore what's possible when you stop settling and start soaring.

Yours in let it burn goodness-

EBS