Why Trying to Balance Work & Life Doesn't Work: A Better Way to Achieve Balance

For years now, we’ve been hearing that work/life balance  is the best, maybe even the ONLY way to be truly happy and not burnt out.

I just read yet another article in a big (actual, paper) magazine with the same message, selling the same pitch. And since everyone seems to be saying it, it must be true. Right? 

Uhh… no. 

I believe most of this advice is coming from a place of good intentions. But it’s easy advice. And not advice that works. It’s not that it’s one specific method or strategy that doesn’t work for everyone, the whole concept of “work/life balance”  definitely isn’t the best option out there. 

Also, how do you know that the “experts” are following their own advice? Or that they’re getting great results?

It seems to me that you can spend a lot of time feeling frustrated or like a failure because while you’re trying to be “balanced” and focus on “self-care” the overwhelm and frustration is still there.

Along with the burnout. The tips & tricks to find work/life balance aren’t working for you because  you’re not the problem! 

I know because back when I was starting my business, I tried allllll the tips and tricks to achieve ‘balance’ to make sure I didn’t burn myself out, and well… I just didn’t get great results. 

In fact, I had been advised to calendar out every 15 minutes of my day to make sure I was dividing my time equally, and man alive did that just stress me the fuck out.

Not only does life not happen in neat, tidy 15 minute increments, but I could not for the life of me remember to track each thing and also, why was I tracking what I was tracking? It made no sense to my brain and only made the agitation worse!

I also didn’t feel like I was being true to myself  when I time tracking. And believe me, your brain hates it when you’re trying to be someone else.  

Always remember “balance” is an incredibly personal concept so you have to know what it means to you. Don’t try to be someone else.

What’s Not So Great About “Work/Life Balance”

Here’s the thing. Work/Life Balance isn’t a good idea because:

  • Time and energy and where you spend them are intensely personal

  • It perpetuates the idea that you life has two parts Work and… Life. That’s it. 

  • Focusing on balancing these two concepts means that Work is 50% of your time!! 

  • While the concept was revolutionary years ago, things have changed. For many, the pandemic taught us that work is not and should not be the bulk of our lives.

Want proof? 

So what can you do to actually find the balance you’re looking for? Fortunately, there’s a better way. Instead of trying to balance Work & Life on a very uneven see-saw, try something else. 

Wouldn’t you rather spend your time doing something that feels like it’s contributing to your mental health, that’s also crazy effective at allowing you to do better work while on the job?

Well, now you can. And it doesn’t have to be confusing or overwhelming. 

A Better Way to Actually Achieve Balance

Here’s what I did to make sure my life felt truly in balance instead of just yelling “SELF-CARE!” and hoping the overwhelm went away…

Step #1: Get Super Clear About Your Goals (in terms of “Balance)

I got clear about my ultimate goals: to have totally focused time with my family and to feel energized when working because I’d had time to rest.

This really is the most important step – you can’t be balanced until you define what that means for you.

In my practice I like to have my clients define their goals for FOUR categories, not just ‘work’ and ‘life’

I have them define:

  1. Work & Career

  2. Family & Friends

  3. Play & Relaxation

  4. Health & Wellness

Step #2: Do just a TINY bit of math

I’m a visual type human so I love a pie chart, but even pie charts start with math. So what you want to do is look at your four categories and decide how much of your 100% of available time do you want to spend engaging in each.

Now, there is no right or wrong here. If you want to spend 65% of your time working, go for it. Just with the intentional understanding that that means you will have less time for Friends, Wellness, Play etc. 

Below is an actual pie chart one of my clients created:

 
 

Step #3: Make a Plan to Make it Happen

After keeping records of what worked and what didn't in the past, I realized that a much better way to actually achieve balance takes intention and action.

You have to not just know how you want things to look, but you actually have to be intentional with your time and protect your boundaries with a few habits:

  • Habit #1: Block off and communicate your working hours 

  • Habit #2: Put time aside for everything on your calendar (especially the family and fun bits!)

  • Habit #3: Get used to saying “No.” Because every time you say “Yes” to something you don’t really want you’re saying “No” to something you do want. 

Next Steps

  1. Schedule some time to reflect on what has caused you to feel unbalanced in the past and what you’d like to change in the future.

  2. Create your own pie chart.

  3. Grab that calendar and start blocking your time!

  4. Check out some of my other articles about burnout and balance.

In them, you’ll find my best tips and more:

You can absolutely create balance in a way that feels authentic to you. You just need the right roadmap - and a little independent thinking. 

If you want more help here, check out my freebie just for you, to help you clarify your goals and what it is you really want from your career and for your life.

Click here for more deets and how you can get it today!

Yours in balanced goodness-

EBS

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EB Sanders 

Career Coach for Creative Types

ebsanders.com

ebs@ebsanders.com

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ErinBlythe Sanders

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